Couple communication test
Do you really talk, or just argue? 8 questions based on Gottman's science to measure how you communicate.
This couple communication test draws on John Gottman's research into the “Four Horsemen” (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) and repair after conflict. It measures four areas — clarity, listening, repair, and respect — and gives a 0–100 score. The good news: communicating better is learnable.
The science behind the test
Dr. John Gottman studied thousands of couples in his “Love Lab” and described the “Four Horsemen” that predict trouble: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. He also found that what matters isn't not fighting, but knowing how to repair and keeping a high ratio of positive interactions.
This test turns those ideas into 8 questions. It's a reflective tool, not a clinical diagnosis.
How your result is calculated
Each answer adds points to a total and to four dimensions: clarity, listening, repair, and respect. Your score is the percentage of the maximum. The higher, the healthier the communication dynamic. The breakdown shows which “horseman” to watch.
All the quiz questions
When something bothers you, how do you usually start the sentence?
While your partner talks during an argument, you...
When you get criticized, your first reaction is...
Do sarcasm, mockery, or contempt show up when you fight?
When the conversation gets too heated, you...
After a fight, is there repair (apology, joke, gesture)?
Do you feel your partner gets your point, even if they disagree?
How often do you express appreciation or gratitude?
- The Gottman Institute — the “Four Horsemen” and repair
- Gottman, J. & Silver, N. — The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Frequently asked questions
What is the communication test based on?
On John Gottman's research into the Four Horsemen and repair, adapted into a short, reflective format.
Can bad communication be improved?
Yes. It's the most trainable couple skill. Changing how you start sentences, asking for pauses, and repairing quickly bring fast improvements.
Does fighting a lot mean we're doing badly?
Not necessarily. What matters most isn't the number of conflicts, but how you handle them and whether you repair afterward.
What about your relationship?
Take the quiz and discover your compatibility, communication, and future in minutes.