Shared values test for couples
Values are the map guiding every big decision. 8 questions to see if you're pointing in the same direction.
Shared values doesn't mean thinking alike in everything: it means that on the decisions that matter most — family, money, faith, lifestyle, ethics — there's enough overlap to build a shared life. This test measures those five areas in 8 questions, giving a 0–100 score. Values aren't negotiable; how you live them is.
Why do shared values matter?
Values are the implicit map guiding every important decision: where to live, how to parent, what to prioritize, how to treat each other. When two people share core values, hard decisions are easier to make together. When they diverge on essentials, every decision can become an exhausting negotiation.
Gottman Institute research points to building Love Maps — mutual knowledge of each other's dreams, fears, and values — as one of the strongest predictors of long-term satisfaction.
How your result is calculated
Each answer adds points to a total and to four dimensions (family and future, money and priorities, lifestyle, ethics and values). Your score is the percentage of the maximum. The breakdown shows where you're most aligned and where deeper conversation would help.
All the quiz questions
When you think about starting or growing a family (children, living together, roles), how aligned are you?
Do you share a similar view on money (saving, spending, investing, sharing)?
In terms of life pace (work, leisure, adventure vs. stability), how well do you complement each other?
If faith or spirituality matters in your life, how do those beliefs coexist in your relationship?
Do you share a similar view on what is fair, right, or ethical in life?
Regarding parenting or how you relate to your families of origin, are you in sync?
Do your life priorities (career, family, travel, community) point in the same direction?
When facing a difficult ethical decision (honesty, loyalty, justice), do you react similarly?
- The Gottman Institute — Love Maps and mutual knowledge
- Acevedo, B. & Aron, A. (2009). Does a Long-Term Relationship Kill Romantic Love? Review of General Psychology.
- Rokeach, M. — The Nature of Human Values (1973)
Frequently asked questions
Do we have to share all the same values?
No. Value affinity doesn't mean identical thinking. Differences in some areas can coexist well with respect and flexibility. What matters is that core values — those guiding the biggest decisions — have enough overlap.
Can values change over time?
Yes. Life experiences, maturity, and crises can transform a person's values. That's why it's important to discuss them regularly and not assume the alignment from five years ago still holds.
We scored low — does that mean we're incompatible?
Not necessarily. It indicates there are fundamental differences that deserve honest conversation. Some couples with different values build a life together through respect and negotiation; others discover their visions are incompatible. Only sincere conversation can clarify which is the case.
What about your relationship?
Take the quiz and discover your compatibility, communication, and future in minutes.