Secure attachment test: what is your attachment style?
Do you cling, pull away, or feel at ease? 8 questions to explore your attachment style and how it shapes your relationship.
Attachment theory — developed by Bowlby and applied to adult relationships by Hazan and Shaver — describes how we bond emotionally: with security (calm and trust), anxiety (fear of abandonment), or avoidance (distance as a shield). This test measures four indicators of secure attachment — emotional security, calm during separation, open communication, and balanced autonomy — and gives a 0–100 score. The higher, the more secure your tendencies. Not a clinical diagnosis.
What is attachment in relationships?
Attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby to understand how babies bond with caregivers. Hazan and Shaver (1987) extended it to adult romantic relationships and described three styles: secure (comfort with closeness and autonomy), anxious (fear of abandonment and need for validation), and avoidant (emotional distance as protection). Mary Ainsworth added nuance with her research on the "strange situation."
This test measures tendencies, not rigid categories. Attachment style can evolve through self-awareness and relational experience. Not a diagnosis.
How your result is calculated
Each answer adds points to a total and to four dimensions: emotional security, calm during separation, open communication, and balanced autonomy. The final score is the percentage of the maximum possible. The higher, the more secure your relational tendencies.
- 0–39%: marked anxious or avoidant tendencies.
- 40–59%: attachment in transition.
- 60–79%: leaning toward secure attachment.
- 80–100%: solid secure attachment.
All the quiz questions
When your partner pulls away emotionally or is busy, you...
How easily do you express what you need emotionally?
How do you feel about your partner having their own life without you?
When you have a bad day, do you turn to your partner?
Do you feel you deserve love without having to earn it?
After a fight, how do you seek reconnection?
How much does your mood depend on your partner's availability?
When your partner needs space, how do you experience it?
- Hazan, C. & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511–524.
- Bowlby, J. & Ainsworth, M. — Attachment theory: foundations and styles
- The Gottman Institute — attachment and security in relationships
Frequently asked questions
Can I change my attachment style?
Yes. Attachment style isn't a fixed destiny. Self-awareness, healthy relationships, and — when needed — psychotherapy can help you develop more security.
Are anxious and avoidant attachment opposites?
Yes, and they often attract each other: the anxious person seeks closeness while the avoidant needs distance. Understanding the pattern is the first step to managing it better as a couple.
Does this test diagnose my attachment style?
No. It's a reflection tool based on research, not a clinical diagnosis. For a more complete analysis, consult a mental health professional.
What about your relationship?
Take the quiz and discover your compatibility, communication, and future in minutes.